Why Pride? Part VII. Limiting Comparisons

Climbing towards true pride: One personal step at a time

In previous parts, we explored four excellent qualities that are useful for protecting yourself from the traps of false pride. These qualities are: self-awareness, humility, compassion, and openness to feedback.

Today, we will examine another quality - Limiting Comparisons - as an additional firewall against arrogance. We'll also consider how successful people use this practice to achieve excellent results while maintaining balance.

Limiting Comparisons

Your story is worth telling. #AmericanGods #NeilGaiman

Author Neil Gaiman once advised young writers,

"The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision." 

In other words, True Pride focuses on personal growth rather than constant comparison to others. It's about competing with yourself and becoming a better version of yourself, not trying to outdo everyone else.

To illustrate how limiting comparisons to others can lead to extraordinary success, let's examine the career of one of the greatest sportswomen.

Serena Williams: A Case Study in Limiting Comparisons

She's not just a tennis player; she's an icon

Tennis player Serena Williams is a prime example of someone who has practiced limiting comparisons. Despite constant media comparisons to her sister Venus and other players, Serena has always focused on her own game and personal records.

In a 2013 interview, Serena stated, "I don't think about other people. I think about me, and I've always been that way. I think about me and what I need to do to be the best that I can be." 

This mindset has allowed Serena to achieve remarkable success, including 23 Grand Slam singles titles.

Even when she didn't win, Serena's focus remained on her own growth. 

After losing the 2018 Wimbledon final, she said, "I'm just me, and that's all I can be. But for me, that's enough. That's great that I can be me and that's good enough."

This demonstrates how limiting comparisons can lead to sustained success and personal satisfaction.

Practical Tips for Limiting Comparisons

Finding gratitude in the simplest of things

While understanding the concept of limiting comparisons is important, implementing it in our daily lives can be challenging. Here are some practical tips to help you focus on your own growth and reduce unhelpful comparisons:

1. Set personal goals: Focus on what you want to achieve for yourself, not what others are doing. Create specific, measurable goals that align with your values and aspirations.

2. Keep a progress journal: Regularly document your own progress and achievements. This helps you focus on your personal growth and provides a record of how far you've come.

3. Practice gratitude: Regularly acknowledge what you're grateful for in your life. This can help shift your focus from what others have to what you already possess.

4. Limit social media usage: Social media often fuels comparison. Consider reducing your time on these platforms or curating your feed to minimize content that triggers unhealthy comparisons.

5. Celebrate others' successes: Instead of feeling threatened by others' achievements, try to genuinely celebrate them. This can help foster a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Focus on your strengths: Identify and develop your unique strengths. Remember, as Neil Gaiman said, your unique perspective is your greatest asset.

7. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself when you fall short of your goals. Remember that everyone faces setbacks, and they're opportunities for growth.

By implementing these strategies, you can cultivate a mindset that focuses on personal growth and true pride, rather than constant comparison to others.

Conclusion

Break free from comparisons. Embrace true pride

By cultivating Limiting Comparisons, we can achieve success while maintaining True Pride and ethical integrity. 

True Pride allows us to celebrate our achievements without becoming arrogant or closed-minded. It enables us to continue learning, growing, and contributing positively to our communities and fields of expertise.

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Discover the dangers of arrogance and the transformative power of True Pride in "Melissa". Available now on Kindle Unlimited and coming on October 17th in paperback. 

Find out more about "Melissa" on our website.

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Why Pride? Part VI: The Power of Openness to Feedback

In our ongoing exploration of True Pride, we've discussed three key components: Self-Awareness, Humility, and Compassion. These act as buffers between our True selves and False Pride.

We recognized that there are people who not only made a very successful career through their own effort and hard work but also were capable of eliminating the risk of slipping to the side of False Pride by exercising these components.

Now, let's examine the fourth component of True Pride: Openness to Feedback. We'll explore a compelling example that demonstrates its positive impact.

An AT&T Labs and the Netflix Prize

In 2007, Netflix offered a $1 million prize to anyone who could improve their movie recommendation algorithm by 10%.

An AT&T Labs team entered the competition and started making progress, but they hit a roadblock and couldn't seem to improve their results further.

Instead of stubbornly persisting with their existing approach, the team decided to seek out feedback from other participants in the competition. They joined forces with several other teams, including the eventual winners - a combined team of engineers, statisticians, and computer scientists from different countries.

By openly acknowledging their limitations, putting aside egos, and embracing feedback from others, the combined team was able to analyze the problem from new perspectives. They integrated different techniques and ultimately developed an algorithm that achieved the required 10% improvement, winning the $1 million prize.

In their own words: "We figured... if we all combined forces, we'd have a better chance. Turns out we were right."

This example showcases how being open to feedback, even from unlikely sources like competitors, can lead to breakthrough solutions. The AT&T team's willingness to seek out different viewpoints and incorporate new approaches directly contributed to their eventual success.

If the AT&T Labs team had not been open to feedback and had worked completely independently from others, they wouldn't have achieved their goal - neither helping Netflix with their challenge nor earning the substantial prize. 

The Power of Openness to Feedback

This openness to feedback, one of the key components of True Pride, allowed the AT&T team to overcome their limitations and achieve success by collaborating with others, rather than stubbornly persisting with their own approach out of hubris or ego.

As we've seen, openness to feedback is crucial for eliminating the risk of falling into False Pride.

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Ethics, Grief, and the Human Condition

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Why Pride? Part V. The Power of Compassion

Compassion. 😇

Following our pride, we are speeding up on our highways, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. However, how can we stay stable and avoid veering off the path of True Pride towards arrogance, false pride, or hubris?

In previous parts of the article "Why Pride?", we discussed several safeguards, such as Self-Awareness and Humility, that can protect us from this risk. In Part V, we will delve deeper into another powerful buffer: Compassion.

Human compassion is a profound feeling of empathy and concern for the suffering of others. It involves a willingness to understand another person's pain, offer support, and take action to alleviate their suffering.

To better understand the interplay between true pride and compassion, let's explore real-world examples of individuals who have harnessed these qualities to make a positive impact.

 J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter)

A wizard's journey

After becoming a renowned author, J.K. Rowling used her platform to advocate for various charitable causes. Despite her immense literary success, she didn't succumb to false pride or narcissism. Instead, she remained committed to making a positive impact beyond her personal accomplishments.

Rowling established the Volant Charitable Trust, which supports multiple sclerosis research and works to alleviate social deprivation, particularly among women and children. She also co-founded Lumos, an international children's organization working to end the institutionalization of children worldwide.

In 2012, Rowling voluntarily dropped off Forbes' billionaire list due to her charitable giving. 

She stated, "You have a moral responsibility when you've been given far more than you need, to do wise things with it and give intelligently." 

This example showcases how true pride, when coupled with compassion, means using one's success to create positive change in the world.

True pride is often shared. When you achieve something, remember to lift others up and acknowledge their contributions. In contrast, false pride often involves belittling others to elevate oneself.

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift, bringing her music to the people

After achieving stardom through her successful music career, Taylor Swift has made it a priority to use her platform and resources to support others.

In 2018, she launched the "Taylor Nation" program where she made donations to fans struggling with medical bills, student loans, and other financial hardships. Taylor didn't just celebrate her own successes but extended a compassionate hand to her supporters.

One of Taylor's Charities

Beyond that, she has made multi-million dollar donations to charitable causes like disaster relief efforts after the Nashville tornadoes and Louisiana floods. Swift said these acts weren't about gratifying her ego but coming from "an inherent humble perspective" to help others in need.

Her compassion isn't limited to grand gestures either. Swift is known for spending time with sick fans at hospitals, writing them letters of encouragement, and making their dreams come true through meet-and-greets.

Taylor Swift visits a hospital for children

These examples of J. K. Rowling and Taylor Swift showcase how true pride, when coupled with compassion, means sharing one's success and good fortune to uplift, support, and bring joy to others - without any need to belittle or elevate oneself above others. In the end, this helps us resist the touch of false pride.

Openness to feedback is another crucial tool for maintaining a healthy sense of pride. We shall cover this quality in the next part of this article.

Why Pride? A Skeptic's Perspective

Looking for evidence to back up claims?

As skeptics, we love to question things. We don't just accept what everyone else says. We want evidence to back up claims.

True Pride is a mix of qualities that skeptics can really get behind. It's about knowing yourself, being humble, caring about others, being open to feedback, and not comparing yourself too much to others.

These qualities go hand-in-hand with skeptical thinking. They encourage us to keep learning, try new things, and make a positive impact on the world. And we do it all while being honest and ethical.

By embracing True Pride, we show that being successful and doing the right thing can go together. We can thrive while still being critical thinkers and making decisions based on evidence.

Unchecked Ambition: How Pride Leads to Ruin in "Melissa"

Pride led to his downfall. Will you learn from his mistake?

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This novel serves as a practical illustration of the concepts discussed in this article, offering readers a chance to see the principles of True Pride (or the lack thereof) in action through a compelling narrative.

Thanks to AI

While some images were sourced from the internet, I would like to thank the NightCafe image generation tool for the images created for this post. I am also grateful to Bard/Gemini and Claude for their proofreading assistance.

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